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暮色森林Das Monstrum In Meinem 我早告诉你了，上最后一节课的是韩国人。作者： Lord PG耶路撒冷寒风习习，这是地球上有史以来最悲惨的一天，就在这一天，耶稣基督告诉他的门徒，他将要去赴死。以利的心情是又痛苦又欣喜。 他不是耶稣的十二门徒，他要高于十二门徒——他和耶稣从小长到大，简直就是他的死党，也只有他才真正地知道，耶稣的老爸就是上帝。 “夫子，离开耶路撒冷，我们去伯利恒吧，我们不能失去您！”一次聚餐时，以利曾这样恳求他。 “不行。”救世主回答说，“我的命运已经被注定，我的死期近了。” “为什么？” “为了拯救世人。” “但是您活着可以救更多的人！” “闭嘴！”耶稣恼怒地说，“我从上头下来时，这件事情就定下了，任何人无法更改。我的下放实习期只有那么长时间。” 以利花了很长时间来接受这个现实，最后他小声地提了一个问题：“您会怎么离开我们？” 救世主耶稣基督挠挠头：“这个事情么……老爸倒没明文规定。他希望我来个轰轰烈烈的死法把事情闹大一点，比如坐在马车里被人刺杀搞起 一场战争什么的。但难得死一次，我可不想死得那么难受。” “我的主，您想怎样行事？”以利急切地问。 “恩……或许上个法庭，在舒适的牢房里住上两个星期，最后在与朋友们谈论哲学的时候喝下毒酒是个比较好的选择。”救世主开心地说，“ 很有文化气息，更重要的是，不疼。把那杯麦酒拿过来，再撕一块面包给我。” 酒过三巡，耶稣拿着几枚铜币偷偷离席了。别人都不知道他的去向，只有身为耶稣死党的以利知道，他大概又去找那个叫玛利亚，来自抹大拉的妓女了。门徒们见耶稣离开了，于是也纷纷散去。以利独自走在乡间的小路上，一路上怅然所失，直到一个声音在他耳边响起。 “以利！”那个声音苍老而慈祥。 “谁？”以利转身四顾，小路上一个人都没有。 “我从上头来的。”那个声音简单地说道。 以利敬畏地跪下去，脑袋中的绝大部分都被虔敬所充满，剩下的那块脑细胞则在暗自欣喜——自己终于当先知了。 “我很忙，”上头的声音说，“咱们长话短说，你是我儿子的朋友是吗？” “是的，主。” “他今天刚刚告诉你，他的下放实习期就快结束了？” “是的，主。” “他告诉你他打算怎么回来吗？” “是的，主。夫子他打算经受一场牢狱，最后边谈论哲学边喝毒酒。” “我早告诉他过，这种死法已经有人用过了。”上头的声音似乎有点小生气，“他还是不肯用我建议的方法吗？” “马车里那个方法？他不肯，主。” “也罢，这个点子我很喜欢，迟早我要来一次。”上头的声音突然严肃起来，“你要告诉他，他的实习成绩很差。他的绩效指标是作王一千年，但现在连他家乡的人都不听他的话，如果不能靠这次的死法赚回一点分数，那他的成绩就是不及格。” 以利敬畏地回答，“我明白了，主。” “不，你还不明白。我要你帮忙去说服他换个流芳百世的死法。” “主，夫子怎么可能听我的呢？您为什么不直接和他说呢？” “白痴！”上头的声音怒了，“哪个青春期的儿子肯听老爸的话？比起老爸来，兄弟的话更有说服力！” “那么，请主赐给我伶俐的舌头好去说服夫子。”以利乞求道。 “你要的不是舌头，而是知识……”上头的声音似乎在考虑什么，“我决定了，我把你送去上学，回来后你就能替他设计出一个完美的死法了。” “主……可是……” “我都替你操办好了，去吧！”上头的声音刚落，以利就觉得一道光笼罩住了自己，大地、重力及整个世界都消失了。在晕厥过去之前，以利听到的最后一句话是，“替他赢过默罕默德那小子！” 正如同以利不知道自己什么时候开始会说美式英语一样，尤斯佛教授也不知道自己班里什么时候进了一个巴勒斯坦插班生。前两天那个穆斯林插班生来的事情她也完全事先不知情，她有点恼火，看来什么时候要找教务处的人好好谈谈。她检查了一下这个新学生的资料，所有的证件、证明一应俱全，而且看落款，全部都是同一天内签发出来的，她耸耸肩，官僚机构几个世纪来从未如此高效率过，看来这个插班生上头有人。 “以利同学，欢迎进入新奥尔良商学院，我是尤斯佛.摩马斯特，”尤斯佛教授欢迎他说，“不知道你之前在哪所学校就读？” 以利还在思索旧奥尔良是个什么东西，突然被问道之前的学校，他只能支吾地说：“恩……恩……我原来在伯利恒那边……” “以色列的圣玛门商学院？”尤斯佛教授设法掩饰她的鄙夷之情，“他们的东西太理论化，我这边才是真正实用的东西。” “恩……实用？”以利想到了他的任务，“尤斯佛教授，你们这边还研究怎么弄死人吗？” 尤斯佛教授眨了眨眼睛，“弄死人？”她想到了当下的次贷危机，以及持续上扬的失业率和自杀率，“对，学商的人都很擅长。以利，我喜欢你的幽默。” “真的？”以利兴奋了，“那赶紧上课吧，我赶时间。” ——————————————————————————————————————————————— 新奥尔良商学院一向标榜自己“网络全球人才”，它的师资力量来自世界各地，以利上的第一堂品牌运营课的老师崔迪逊先生就是一个英国人。“品牌，”崔迪逊先生在课堂上说，“就是对旧有传统的实体化。旧有的传统是虚无空泛的，只有把它凝聚成品牌，才能具有顽强的竞争力。”他指着教室角落里的一个穆斯林打扮的学生，“穆萨先生，给我们据个例子，说明下新生品牌是如何打败其他旧有传统的？” 这个叫穆萨的学生似乎有点心不在焉，“恩……恩？”他说。 崔迪逊先生脸色有点不好看，他对穆萨的同桌说：“你来替他说？” “恩……旧有传统？”这个同桌想了下，“有名目的宗教取代了无名目的先祖信仰？” “虽然不是个商业上的例子，但还是很贴切。”崔迪逊先生脸色好看了点，“以信仰为例，当宗旨明确的宗教出现后，部落的先祖信仰就消逝了，因为前者有名字，有品牌，而后者什么都没有。” “您能具体说说吗？”以利发言道，“有关宗教，比如耶稣的宗教？” “注意你的话，以利先生。”崔迪逊先生正视他道，“搞商业的不能牵扯到任何信仰与道德，我们在这里不能谈论这些，你刚才说的那个名字也不能再提。” 他的死亡必须成为品牌。以利在笔记本上记下了这句话，用的是漂亮的古希伯来花体字。 ——————————————————————————————————————————————— “你刚才到哪里去了？”耶稣生气地说，“这个月是你负责的采购，但我们的酒都喝完了！” “恩……我主，您不是能把水变成酒吗？”以利怯生生地回答。 “我只能变葡萄酒，”救世主气鼓鼓地回答，“但我更喜欢大口地喝麦酒！你刚才去哪里了？一整天都见不到你人。” 以利回答说：“我蒙召去替上帝办差了。” “老爸？他要你干什么？”耶稣的语气充满疑惑。 “恩……我被主送到一个神奇的地方，上了几节课。一下课，我就又被送回来了。” “上什么课？” “恕我直言，”以利知道不应该欺骗救世主，于是就壮着胆子直说了，“那里的教授教我怎么安排您的死亡。” “教授？”耶稣露出茫然的神色。 “相当于我们这边的拉比。” 耶稣恍然大悟：“拉比们教了你什么？” “恩……”他努力回想着，“您的死亡必须成为品牌。” “品牌是什么意思？”耶稣问。 “额……”以利的脑门渗出了一层细汗，说实话，几个小时的课上，崔迪逊先生根本没解释什么叫“品牌”——在他看来，这个太基本了，不值得浪费口舌再解释一遍。“品牌……大概就是招牌。” “招牌？挂在酒馆门口的那种？” “对，我主，这样的话，所有的人都会看到您的牺牲，他们都会被感动，然后汇聚到您的名下。” “好主意！”耶稣赞许道，“我要设计一个与众不同的招牌，任何人看到后，都能铭记我做出的牺牲，直至千年。” “如您所愿。”以利深深下拜，然后赶回了自己的家。他要早点睡觉，明天一早还要去上课呢。 ——————————————————————————————————————————————— “别听昨天那约翰牛的废话。”经营策略课是由尤斯佛教授自己来讲的，她似乎对崔迪逊先生上节课说的品牌传统论相当不屑。“人如其名，崔迪逊先生非常非常地传统——换一句话说，他已经落伍了。想获得成功的人，都必须学会蔑视传统。” “为什么这么说？”下面有人提问。 “很简单，每个人都有自己叛逆的欲望。”她回答道，“但限制于传统的束缚，很少有人敢于充分表现自己的叛逆面。但如果有谁做了别人都想做而不敢做的事情，那么他就会成为公众偶像。佐罗本质上只是个强盗，但他却成了所有人的偶像。” “您说的是一个虚构的人物。”有学生反对道。 “当然，但不可否认，监狱里的男性囚犯被女性求爱的概率是自由男性的四倍。”尤斯佛教授说，“这是有权威调查数据支持的，因为大家都觉得一个叛逆的男人更具有吸引力，特别是性吸引力。” “您能解释一下为什么违反传统会产生吸引力吗？”以利举手问道。 “很容易解释。我还准备了道具。以利先生，请站过来，面对着大家，好的，谢谢。”她引导以利站到讲台前面，以便让大家能看到他的脸部表情。“给你看几张照片。” 她出示了几张照片，其中有特雷莎修女、南丁格尔、居里夫人、维多利亚女王，都是一本正经、裹得严严实实的老女人。以利疑惑不解地浏览着这些图片，纳闷地揣测着尤斯佛教授的意图。 突然，一个年轻女人的照片出现在眼前——她嘴唇上一颗明显的美人痣、扎了一个雪白色的马尾辫，胸前有两个巨大的圆锥形物体向前突出，摆出了一个撩人的姿势。以以利的观点来看，衣着相当暴露。他的眼睛瞪得大大的，嘴巴不由自主地张了开来，有透明的液体自嘴角低下。以利保持这这个样子一动不动，半响说不出话，思维已经完全被这个女人带来的视觉冲击所击垮了。他甚至没有注意到台下的爆发的哄笑声。 “以利先生的反应……哈哈哈……比我想象的强烈得多，他一定……哈哈哈……是个老实人……” 尤斯佛教授一边徒劳地克制着爆笑的冲动，一边挣扎地把这句话说完：“麦当娜就是打破传统而成功的一个例子，大家明白了吗？哈哈哈哈……” 台下根本没人听她的，所有人都笑成一团，除了以利以外。后者正呆呆地看着麦当娜的照片，眼睛和嘴巴都张得大大的，一动不动。 更正一下，所有人都笑成一团，除了以利和穆萨以外。后者的表情和以利一摸一样，只不过他坐在教室最后排，没有人注意到他。 ——————————————————————————————————————————————— 当以利回到耶稣住处的时候，他着实被吓了一跳。好多人围在耶稣家门口，大声嚷嚷着什么。 “叫老板出来！我们要买酒！”一个醉醺醺的醉汉大声叫嚷着。 耶稣叉着腰堵在家门口，很生气地对围观地人说道：“再和你们说一遍，这里没老板！我们不是卖酒的！” “如果不是卖酒的，为什么要挂这种招牌出来？”另一个醉汉指着耶稣家门口挂着的一块牌子，生气地说道。 耶稣很窘迫的样子，脸涨得通红，“反正我们什么都不卖！你们到别家去买酒吧！” 以利挤到近处一看，他家门口不知什么时候果然多出一块木头招牌，上面画着一个金黄色的酒杯，周围还描绘上了光芒。 耶稣看见以利，示意后者赶紧来帮自己一把。以利义不容辞地挤到耶稣身边，花费了许多口舌，好不容易把众人劝散了，以利赶紧把招牌给取下来了，以免惹出更大的麻烦。“我主，您怎么会把这么一个招牌放在外面的？”他问。 耶稣的窘态更明显了，他支支吾吾地回答：“你不是告诉过我，我的死亡必须成为招牌吗？我就自己做了一个……” 一滴冷汗从以利的额头滑下：“这杯子是？” “额……是毒酒的象征。”耶稣正色道，“这群愚民竟然认为我是卖酒的！” “主啊，这的确与街口酒店的招牌很神似。” “哪里神似啦？比如说……恩……恩，”耶稣上下打量着招牌，“他们的酒杯可没有金黄色的光芒！” 以利决定不在这个问题上继续纠缠下去。“请容我说，主啊，您还决定采用那个死法吗？”他说道，“我觉得那不适合您。” “没有人能够让人子改变决定。”耶稣断然地说，“但是，我主，我有了一个更好的方法。” “虽然我不会听，但你还是说吧。” “您觉得十字架如何？”以利充满期望地说，“风格叛逆，十字架容易做成招牌，而且围观者众多。” 耶稣皱皱眉头，“那是强盗的死法。” “您说对了！”以利回答，“那有助于增加您的阳刚之气，并且可以吸引舆论的注意。” “会被脱光的！”耶稣抗议道。 “那会吸引很多女信徒。”以利说。 “很疼！”耶稣抗议道。 “我可以调点麻药给您喝。”以利说。 “在十字架上会上一两天都死不掉！”耶稣抗议道。 “我有个士兵朋友，他可以扎您一枪。”以利说。 “只有强盗才能上十字架！”耶稣抗议道。 “我可以帮您安排，我认识罗马少尉朗基努斯。”以利说。 “……”耶稣无声地抗议道。 以利毫不畏缩地盯着他看。 “反正我就要喝毒酒死，谁也别管我。”耶稣被盯得受不了了，他气鼓鼓地站起来，也不管以利，径自出门右转走掉了，大概又是去找抹大拉的玛利亚去了。 当以利独自在房间里不知所措的时候，一个熟悉的声音从上头降临到他的脑海“看来你也说服不了他嘛。” “我让您失望了，主。求您宽恕我。”以利跪下祈祷。 “相反，我对你的想法很有兴趣。”上头说，“我把我的独子交到你手里了，你可以任意待他。” 圣灵从天上降下落到以利身上，以利觉得自己被一种邪恶的勇气所充满了——他要把救世主钉上十字架。 ——————————————————————————————————————————————— 沟通交流课的老师据说来自中国淳朴的农村，但自从在一个叫“墙壁街”的地方浸淫数十年以后，郝先生就完全是一副“墙壁街”特有的样子了。 “人们常说，沟通反映现实，但俺却不这么认为。”郝先生的英语仍然带有他故乡的乡音，“在俺的观念里，沟通创造现实！” “什么叫沟通创造现实呢？”郝先生解释道，“俺们可以举哈根达斯的例子。你们谁没吃过哈根达斯冰激淋的，举手！” 以利左右看看，没有人举手，于是他就压抑下了举手的冲动。但是坐在后排的穆斯林穆萨先生举手了。 “好小伙，喏，接着！”郝先生用大拇指弹了一个一美元硬币给穆萨，“出门右转的路边小店，自己去买一桶尝尝吧。大家都知道，哈根达斯在这里是一种极其低档而普遍的品牌，但到中国去卖的价格，甚至超过了美国本土。但是那样离谱的高价，都有无数中国人去买，大家知道为 什么吗？请你回答，穆萨先生？” “呃……呃……”穆萨依然是一副茫然的表情。 郝先生摇摇头，用只有前排才听得到的声音嘟哝道：“肯定是乡下来的。” 然后他换上笑容，大声说：“不知道也没关系，答案很简单，它暗示中国人，哈根达斯是世界著名的贵族品牌。也就是说，它本身是什么无所谓，真正有所谓的是它告诉别人它自己是什么。” 以利发言说，“我告诉别人的任何事情，别人都会相信？这不太可能吧。” “当然不会，我们还要学会伪装，也就是说至少要看上去可信。” “如果这件事情很难伪装呢？” “ 那就把水搅浑。”郝先生愉快地说，“股票市场有那么多满口术语的金融分析师，你以为他们靠什么赚钱？他们的意见都是一半对一半的，如果真要追究预测成功率，至少有一半的分析师要下岗。他们的策略就是，用混乱的术语与复杂的计算关系把原本简单的股市搅浑，这样别人就搞不清楚他们谁的意见更正确，然后他们就都能持久地从中牟利了，这是一个集体骗局。” “骗局？这不道德吧。”以利皱皱眉头。 “道德？俺们搞经济的要啥道德！”郝先生用这句斩钉截铁的话结束了对话。 ——————————————————————————————————————————————— 那天放学回到耶路撒冷后，以利又和上帝聊了一次。借助上帝时间旅行的能力，以利在一个同傍晚之内做了很多安排。因为这些事情是同时发生的，所以一一记录如下： 一、“为了使基督更有慷慨赴死的哲学家气质，”以利给耶稣上了堂“行为礼仪课”。比如告诉耶稣，哲学家通常都喝葡萄酒而不喝卖酒，通常都管葡萄酒为自己的血，面饼则是自己的身体等等。当然，哲学家的这些特点都是以利虚构的。 二、他找到了耶稣十二弟子之一的犹大，向他透露了耶稣与抹大拉的玛利亚的长期暧昧关系。暗恋玛利亚的犹大悲愤异常，誓与耶稣老匹夫势不两立。以利又问犹大，为玛利亚赎身筹的钱还差多少，犹大回答还差三十银币。 三、他化妆去了趟大祭司的家，绘声绘色地描绘了耶稣在自家门口鼓动暴民、企图破坏宗教秩序的异端行为。大祭司向自己手下一打听，果有此事，而且参与的暴民各个都是脾气暴烈的酒鬼，一旦造起反来危害甚大。大祭司感谢以利主动履行好市民的责任，请他作为内应，拘捕耶稣。以利婉拒，并提议说耶稣犯罪集团中的骨干成员犹大可以收买，作价三十银币。 四、以利去拜访了当时在耶稣门口吵闹的那群酒吧顾客，诓称耶稣因为卖甲醇酒毒死人被抓了，不日即将受刑。顾客们表示一旦时间地点确定，便会来旁观。 五、以利再次拜访了耶稣，告诉他说，他和玛利亚的秘密暧昧关系被犹大发现了，后者正把这内幕透露给吟游诗人协会，以换取稿费。耶稣大骂犹大不地道，出卖师傅。 六、耶稣接受了以利的建议，决定召开一个派对，邀请十二位弟子赴宴。他计划在宴会上喝毒酒告别人世，同时拜托以利写本《以利篇》的对话集。以利替耶稣跑腿发了请帖，但却把写书的重担扔给了大徒弟西门保罗，而保罗也懒得写，把这事情推给了马可、马太、路加、约翰这四个小弟。 七、由于以利的幕后撮合，犹大和大祭司的管家进行了良好而秘密的磋商，双方在友好的气氛下就出卖耶稣等一系列问题达成了共识。 八、以利最后去拜访的，是他小时候的邻居，罗马少尉朗基努斯，后者爽朗地答应了朋友的请求。 ——————————————————————————————————————————————— 一切都结束后，以利就停了一切的工，躺下休息。他躺在自己的床上，悠闲地想，骨牌都已经摆放到位，只需要轻轻推一下，一切就会按计划进行。一切都进行得太完美了。 他正想着，上头的声音又突然响起：“以利，你已经安排好了吗？” 以利翻身拜倒：“是的，主。” “新奥尔良商学院的课程还没结束，明天你不回去上课了吗？” “不需要了，主。”以利回答，“我的任务已经完成，一切都安排好了。” “明天上课的可是韩国人哦~” “不需要了，主，明天我要目睹我主升天。” 上头叹了口气，“好吧，但愿一切顺利。” ——————————————————————————————————————————————— 如祂所愿，一切出奇地顺利。耶稣的告别派对从晚餐开始，一直High到通宵达旦。“这是我的血，你们拿去喝。”醉熏熏的耶稣把葡萄酒递给门人，“这是我的身体，你们拿去吃。”他边说，边撕下一片面包，借着酒劲扔向犹大。 犹大正郁闷地坐在角落里，心里还犹豫是不是要背叛耶稣，猛不丁地被面包砸中了脸，顿时就火了，站起来想看是谁扔的，然后他就看见了耶稣醉红的脸正冲着自己不坏好意地微笑。犹大强忍怒火：“您喝醉了，夫子。” 耶稣看见犹大的脸，脑子里想象着犹大靠出卖基督的绯闻而换取金钱的样子，不觉心中愠怒。“你们中有人卖我了！”他突然大声喊道。 门徒们非常惊慌，一个个地问，“夫子，是我吗？” 犹大也发问道：“夫子，是我吗？” 耶稣直视着他的眼睛，“你说得是。” 犹大心中一慌，既然基督已经知道了，犹大就再也没有犹豫的余地了。他悄悄从派对中离开，回来时，带领着大祭司及罗马士兵。 ——————————————————————————————————————————————— 经过一夜审讯，第二天一早，耶稣就被判暴乱罪，钉上十字架处死。“我不能喝毒酒而死吗？”耶稣委屈地说，“我费心营造了一晚上的气氛，你们再晚一会冲进来抓人，我就已经把毒酒喝掉了。” “想自杀来逃避审判，哪那么容易！”负责抓捕的朗基努斯少尉回答道，“来人，把他的十字架给他，他要自己背上山！” 有人把十字架抬过来了，耶稣一看，就几乎昏倒——那十字架用最好的橡木制作的，做工精良气势雄伟，比一般的十字架更高大更结实，重量更是达到了一般十字架的四五倍。 “军爷，”耶稣带着哭腔问，“能给我个普通的十字架用用么？这个我背不动……” “哼！”朗基努斯不屑地回答了一句，“这可是别人花好多钱帮你特制的呢，别不领情了。” 耶稣正想开口再问，但无奈已经被压得说不出话了。 ——————————————————————————————————————————————— 日头升到半空的时候，耶稣终于把十字架背上了山头。一个叫彼拉多的罗马官员主持了行刑。“根据惯例，我要从罪犯里面特赦一个，”他说，“你们是要这个强盗巴拉巴呢，还是要这个耶稣？” “耶稣，耶稣！”保罗他们在底下大喊，希望他们的夫子能免于一死。但他们的声音马上被另一种喊声压下去了。 “巴拉巴，巴拉巴！”一群愤怒的酒徒大喊道，边喊边挥舞着酒瓶。迫于这群人的威势，其他人也跟着一起喊了起来。 “那我要拿耶稣怎么办呢？”彼拉多问。 “钉十字架！钉十字架！”酒鬼们喊。 彼拉多无奈，示意朗基努斯上前把耶稣钉上去。 ——————————————————————————————————————————————— 耶稣钉上去以前，向军士们恳求道：“请容我喝一杯临行酒。” 听闻这话，一旁的一个门徒赶紧递上一杯早已准备好的酒。这杯酒就是当时耶稣没来得及喝的毒酒。虽然耶稣觉得在这里服毒自杀很没面子，但好歹不用忍受那疼痛。 朗基努斯暗地里笑了笑，这些伎俩以利早就嘱咐过了。他从杯子旁走过，装作不小心的样子碰翻了那酒。“不好意思啊，”他假惺惺地道歉，然后重新倒了一杯用苦胆调制过的酒给耶稣。 耶稣见毒酒已经倒掉了，就不肯喝了。 军士们把他扒光了，抬到了那个精致的十字架上，用钉子钉住，又按照以利的嘱咐，用海绵吸了强效麻药，绑在苇子上，送给耶稣尝，耶稣尝了麻药，就感觉不到疼痛了，他在十字架上无所事事，一时间也死不掉，就开始效仿那位喝毒酒的先哲，在临死前向在场的观众们大谈人生哲理。 耶稣的十字架本来就异常雄伟，山头又高，俨然居高临下俯瞰着整个耶路撒冷。很多百姓吃了午饭，见到山头上立着这么一个怪东西，都过来看热闹。大家先是很稀奇，竟然会有人挂在那么华丽的十字架上，于是都纷纷凑过来看。然后大家又看到上头的人并非是个恶棍，相反的是个文弱的文化人，于是更好奇了。最后看到这个文化人竟然光着身子，于是一呼百应万人空巷，都来观看这百年奇景。耶稣趁此大谈哲学，倒也博得大家的一阵阵掌声。 与此同时，以利雇佣的人也悄悄在人群中穿梭，发放着木制的小十字架胸章，上面还有耶稣的裸体形象。还有更有甚者在散布流言说，惊讶的时候惊呼“凯撒呀！” 已经不流行了，现在流行喊“耶稣呀！”耶稣还挂在十字架上没断气，已经有近百名群众决定这个星期日就去受洗礼成为基督教徒。 到中午的时候，耶稣已经有点说不动了。他抬头看看天，接引他的天使已经走到半途了，他沉默着，考虑最后一句遗言该说什么。 众人见耶稣沉默了，于是也静下来，等待着他的最后一句话。耶稣四下观看众人，想找点灵感。他突然发现很多人胸前已经别着十字架的小胸章，上面还有自己的半裸体像。谁会事先知道这个事情呢？谁又会对我上十字架那么热心呢？他突然想起以利曾告诉自己他认识一个叫朗基努斯的罗马军士。“这里有一位朗基努斯军爷没有？”他问。 朗基努斯走过来，“谁叫我？” 耶稣顿时明白了，在天使降临前的一瞬，他愤怒地用拿撒勒的土话向远方大喊：“以利！以利！拉马撒巴各大尼！” 随后，天使的翅膀就覆盖了耶稣基督的灵魂。 ——————————————————————————————————————————————— 自此，基督的事迹就在世间流传，使徒们的行为也为众人传颂。遵照耶稣的意愿，马太四人动笔记录他的生平，他们走访耶稣生前的朋友们以收集信息。他们向以利提出的第一个问题就是：“耶稣死前喊的那句话是什么意思？” 以利笑着回答：“那句话的意思是，‘我的神，我的神，为什么离弃我？’” 四个人用狐疑的眼光看着他。 以利回答：“好吧，好吧，在拿撒勒土语里，那句话的意思是，‘以利！以利！咱俩没完！’” “没完什么？”路加问以利，而后者则笑而不答了。 “算了，就以您前一个回答为准吧。”路加无奈地说。 ——————————————————————————————————————————————— 以利活了84岁，日子满足而死。当他来到天堂后，又重新听到了上帝的声音。 “以利，你干得真漂亮！” “谢谢，主，不知道我主的宗教能延续多少年？” “至少两千年，比我的要求高了一倍。在你的帮助下，我的独子终于及格了。” “谢谢，主，愿我主的名传遍天下。” “只有半个天下而已。” “半个天下？另半个是谁的？” “另半个是默罕默德的伊斯兰教的。” “不可能！基督教是我用商业理论一手策划的，默罕默什么的，他有这本事创造一个匹敌的宗教吗？” “他没有，但他也有一个朋友帮他，那人你也认识，是你的同学，叫穆萨。” “穆萨？不可能！这个呆子一问三不知，根本什么都没学会，怎么可能同我相比。” “蠢材！最后一节课你没有去上，他去了，而且学得很好。” “最后一节课那么重要？” “废话！他回来后，教穆罕默德宣称伊斯兰教才是基督教的正源，耶稣的一切活动都是为默罕默德的降临做准备的，耶稣是伊斯兰教的先知。他剽窃了你的一切成就，踩在你的肩膀上获取了成功。” “我主……”以利无言以对。 上头安慰他说，“别自责了，你的表现很好了，不过……”祂离去前，最后撂下了一句话：“我早告诉你了，上最后一节课的是韩国人。” 一节语文课：中国的高速铁路地点：伦敦市向阳小学四年级二班的教室内。 时间：2010年1月20日 人物：语文老师埃米莉.伊丽莎白和全班学生 老师：“同学们，上课了，大家都坐好。首先，老师先点评一下同学们上次的作业‘借钱不还对不对’。由于经过老师事先的提醒，大部分同学都能把这个话题联系到冰岛这个国家欠我们国家钱不还的事件上来，值得表扬。大部分同学的作文中心思想明确：欠钱不还是不对的，冰岛的总统先生的行为是可耻的。很多同学的文章都很有文采，比如Chris的文章里把冰岛的总统先生比作是个孤独的超人，就是一个很精彩的比喻，至于提到总统先生和超人一样把内裤穿在外面，虽然有点调皮，但是充满了童趣。William同学的文章也很好，非常有深度，他认真分析了为什么冰岛全体国民都对冰岛一家银行的破产负有债务责任。‘一个负责任的国家，不应该逃避自己份内的债务，否则加入欧盟遥遥无期!’说得多么掷地有声。还有很多同学用诗歌，用歌谣来呼唤，讽刺，说服冰岛欠我们国家的钱，这都是很好的作文，老师非常满意。当然也有个别同学的作文有问题，比如来自冰岛的bjork和Alex小朋友，作文虽然字迹工整，语句通顺，但是中心思想很有问题，在什么债务连带责任，利率条款上面夹缠不清，思想片面，立场不对，老师不能给你们及格分，下课后到老师办公室来，老师要和你们单独谈，谈得不好的话还要请家长。 今天，我们要学习一篇关于中国高速铁路的课外文章。这篇文章选自我们国家的著名杂志“经济学人”的2010年第二期。要知道，我们国家是世界上最自由的国家之一，我们有着世界上最自由的报刊杂志。正因为如此，我们的报刊杂志上的文章都是最公证，最公允的。同学们，你们要珍惜自己的幸福喔。好了，Ann，你来念一下标题好吗？” Ann：“A railway bonanza in China－Trouble down the track” 老师：“很好，大家看，这个标题起得很好。它用到了语文上被称为双关语的一种修辞方法。Track，既是铁轨的意思，也是抽象的道路的意思。这个标题可以理解为：‘前方要出轨’，也可以理解为：‘肯定倒大霉’。真是一语双关，而且，两种含意都让国内的读者们心情一下子开朗起来，产生了读下去的兴趣，同学们要好好学习啊。好，John，你来念一下副标题。” John：“China’s love affair with high-speed rail is a boon to foreign suppliers—for now” 老师：“大家看，这里又使用了另一种修辞方法：后置。当读者读到前面部分的时候会提到期望：原来中国的高速铁路热可以对我们这些西方投资者有好处啊，但是，在句子最后的一个“只是暂时的”，一下子又打破了读者的幻想，从而对文章的主角－中国高铁，产生了更深的厌恶情绪。这叫先张后弛，先扬后抑，大家都在笔记本上记下来了吗？如果记好了，Patrick，你来读一下的一段。” Patrick：“IN SHARP contrast to the usual smooth collaboration between political and business interests in Hong Kong, thousands of protesters are expected to surround the territory’s legislative council on January 15th. They are hoping to deter the councillors from approving funding for the final 16 miles (26km) of one of the world’s most ambitious infrastructure projects, a high-speed rail network linking one end of China to another. They think it is too expensive, will involve the forced purchase of too much private property and will demolish too much of the territory’s heritage.” 老师：“很好，大家看，文章的第一段往往有引领全文的作用，又是对主题的铺垫。这里作者没有直接动笔描写中国的高速铁路，而是先从曾经是我们国家一部分的香港入手。历史课的Joseph老师应该给你们讲过，香港曾经是我们国家的一部分，他们本来过着民主，自由，享有一切政治权利的幸福生活，可是后来，不讲理的中国人把香港从我们手里夺走了。现在香港人民每天都很不幸福，那里的人民一刻也没有放松和邪恶的中国政府的斗争。现在，中国政府又强迫可怜的香港人民掏出天文数字的钱修建没有用的高速铁路，香港全体人民每天都在抗议。大家说说看，读者们读到这一段时会不会对中国，对高铁产生了更强烈的厌恶感？这种对情绪的调动大家领悟到了吗？如果没有马上领悟也没关系，多读几遍就好了。下面谁来读一下第二段？Eric，你来读吧。” Eric：“The same may be true of the rest of the epic project to expand China’s rail network by nearly 19,000 miles by 2015, 8,000 of which will be tracks for high-speed trains. But the media, at any rate, portray it as a point of national pride and as a huge stimulus to the economy and employment. While Hong Kong grumbles, nothing is allowed to impede this $750 billion civil-engineering juggernaut on the mainland. Indeed, last year it accelerated and, according to Jiong Shao, an analyst with Nomura Securities, the high-speed portion of this network should be finished by 2012, three years early. Urban metro lines will also expand dramatically from 620 miles to 2,800 over the next ten years, as the number of cities boasting such systems doubles from 11 to at least 22.” 老师：“读得很好，Eric。第二段往往在文章中有承上启下的作用。这里，作者很巧妙很自然地由香港高铁过渡到了中国内地地高铁建设。从第一段来看，既然享有民主权利的香港人公开表达了对香港高铁的抗议，那么没有民主权利的内地人民对高速铁路的态度难道不是很明显的同样反对吗？这种不用直接的证据，而从侧面迂回证明自己观点的写作手法大家一定要好好学习，如果今后想要证明自己的结论，而又没有对自己有利的证据的时候可以用到。Alex,你有什么问题？” Alex：“您刚才说香港人现在还享有上街游行抗议的民主权利，为什么邪恶的中国政府没有取消香港人的民主权利呢？” 老师：“这个主要是我们国家政府为香港人民斗争的结果，虽然香港不再是我们国家的一部分了，但是我们仍然关心香港，支持香港。每次香港人民和邪恶的中国政府斗争的时候，我们都站在反对中国政府的香港人民一边。尽管有的时候只有很少的人反对中国政府，但我们每次都不遗余力地支持，鼓励他们，同时还负责教育有些支持中国政府的糊涂市民。作为一个负责人的大国，我们英国人从来都是不逃避自己的义务的，作为一个冰岛来的同学，你要好好想一下这一点。好了，你来读一下下面的部分，3，4，5段一起读。” Alex：“The expectation is that China’s high-speed rail network will perform the same function as the building of the railways in 19th-century America and President Eisenhower’s great national highways project in the 1950s. The Chinese authorities hope that shrinking journey times will both spread economic development more evenly and bind together potentially fissiparous regions. How it will be paid for is not entirely clear. There are rumours that sections of the railway will begin to be sold in public flotations as early as this spring, though the government will retain large amounts of the associated debt. Fares do not seem high enough to cover the costs of construction, but may yet prove too expensive for the masses. For all its embrace of market economics in the last couple of decades, China’s great railway bonanza owes much to the old style of command and control. The approach is “build it and they will come”. The railway ministry in Beijing has dictated the plans, state-owned banks have provided the loans and a collection of companies owned by the central and provincial governments are responsible for making it all happen. China Railway Engineering Corporation is the country’s biggest construction enterprise. China Railway Construction Corporation is its second-biggest and its largest contractor. Both firms used to be part of the People’s Liberation Army and still employ lots of former officers in their upper ranks.” 老师：“嗯，读得还可以。那么，考验一下你的思想程度，你能找出这三段的关键词吗？” Alex：“呃，我认为有 ‘economic development’，‘bind together’，呃，还有‘market economics’” 老师：“唉，Alex，你没有一个说对的，而且你的思想很成问题，非常成问题。看来我得和你的父母好好谈一谈了。这样下去你会出问题的。你先坐下吧。哪位同学能帮助一下Alex回答这道题？William，你来吧。” William：“我认为关键词有三组：第一组‘19th-century’，‘1950s’说明了中国高速铁路的落后和用基建带动经济的落后思想，第二组‘rumours’，‘command and control’，‘dictated’还有 ‘state-owned’点明了中国是一个不透明，不民主，不自由，不市场经济的国家。第三组只有一个词：‘People’s Liberation Army’但是一下子让读者把中国铁路和中国军队联系到一起，起到了当头棒喝的作用。” 老师：“说得太好了，太好了，实在是太好了！同学们，大家一定要向William学习，学习他的思想深度，尤其是你，Alex。“当头棒喝”，这个成语用得多么到位啊。William，老师和家长都为你骄傲。现在，哪位同学能总结一下第四段的中心思想？Chris，你来回答吧。” Chris：“第四段的中心思想是说明中国政府进退两难的窘境，如果高铁票价定的太低，中国政府会赔钱，如果定的高了，那么已经很贫穷的中国人民更加坐不起火车了，他们更加地生活在水深火热中。” 老师：“不错，非常不错，“窘境”，和“水深火热”这两个词用的非常不错。Chris同学最近的进步也很大。那么读到这里，同学们，我们可爱的读者会不会对邪恶的中国人，呃，我是说邪恶的中国政府厌恶之余，对于我们伟大的社会制度产生一种自豪感呢？要知道，我们的读者有的每天要赶好几个招聘会，有的读者在可爱的公交工人罢工的时候要走路去领失业救济款。如果一篇文章不能让这些可爱的读者们开心，那么谁来买杂志呢，嗯，我是说，如何推行我们民主自由的思想呢？不多说了，下面谁读一下倒数第二段？Ethan，要不要试试？” Ethan：“But there is still money to be made, especially by the foreign firms that have provided the technology to allow China’s trains to overtake Japan’s bullet trains and France’s TGV. Bombardier Sifang, a joint venture between Canadian and Chinese trainmakers, won a $4 billion contract in September to produce 80 trains capable of achieving nearly 240mph with a new energy-efficient system for propulsion and control. Siemens, a German engineering giant, is involved in a similar deal worth around $1 billion. Kawasaki Heavy Industries, a Japanese trainmaker, is licensing a Chinese firm to build 140 of its trains for $6 billion. Alstom, Hitachi and others have also secured business. IBM, meanwhile, is setting up a unit in China with 400 employees to cater purely to the country’s appetite for software and services to manage its rail network efficiently.” 老师：“这一段主要是事实和数字。这也是公正，公平的媒体文章的一个特点：有大量的数字和事实贯穿文章。有一些狭隘的声音，攻击我们媒体上的文章歪曲，误导。难道这些大量的事实和数字还不够说明问题吗？！难道那些狭隘的人能证明这些数字是错误的吗？！难道这样一整篇文章不是建立在客观事实的基础上的吗？！！！老师有些激动了，同学们啊，要记住，文章千古事，写文章一定要多收集事实，做采访搜集资料，然后在花费心思把需要的事实有选择地加在文章中，这样读者们才会更加坚信自己读的是公正，没有偏差的报道，半点也不能马虎啊同学们。好了，最后一段，我们让新来的同学Chengfeng来读一下吧。” Chengfeng：“What foreign companies working with the Chinese understand is that in order to win these contracts they must transfer know-how by the shovelful. As a result, within a few years China may well have the most advanced railway industry in the world. The firms that are gaining this expertise have their hands full for now meeting domestic orders, but they are open about their desire to export their new-found expertise. If they are successful, China may earn returns on its investment abroad as well as at home. The foreigners providing the equipment, however, may find that today’s returns have come at the expense of tomorrow’s.” 老师：“Chengfeng,作为一个来自中国的同学，你的发音很好。看来来到我们的国家后你英语的进步不小，现在老师来看看你思想境界上升了多少，你能总结一下这一段的中心思想吗？” Chengfeng:“老师，我觉得这一段写的和前面的矛盾。如果中国的高铁赔钱而且落后，怎么将来出口外国呢？如果外国公司知道中国赔钱建设高铁而且老百姓天怒人怨，外国公司应该帮助我们多建，那么中国铁路系统就会赔很多钱，将来就无法和他们竞争了，那样Joseph老师常说的民主自由不就赢了吗？另外...” 老师：“不要说了。Chengfeng,老师以为你来到民主自由的世界已经一段时间了，思想觉悟应该有提高，可是你让老师失望了，尤其是你还没有和邪恶的政府划清界线，还用“我们”这种词。不过也不怪你，我知道，在中国，政府洗脑的能力是很强的，不像我们自由民主的国家，所有的信息舆论都是自由的，嗯，就像一个信息的自由市场，市场你知道吧，就是花钱，就是顾客就是上帝，嗯，说多了你也不太懂，一会儿我会调你和William同学坐同桌，多接受他的帮助。现在，谁能总结一下最后一段？” Raj：“老师我来吧，要知道中国是一个非常邪恶的国家，不像我们民主，和平，开放的印度。中国政府每天都在压迫中国人民，所以他们才能在基建上进展的稍微快一点。另外中国人不惜一切代价地偷西方的技术，偷走西方人的工作机会，不像我们民主和平，开放的印度，从来只是为西方的白人们拾遗补缺。我们的基建故意搞得很慢，这样西方的优秀公司可以长期地在我们那里赚钱。中国可能现在短期内取得了一点可怜的成就，但是长期来讲我们民主，和平，开放的印度必然能后来居上。” 老师：“看不出来，同是来自穷地方，呃，我是说发展中国家，Raj同学的思想认识这么先进。Chengfeng，你要学习的地方还很多啊。好了，课文就讲完了，大家还有什么问题吗？Chengfeng,你先别举手。” Ann：“老师，我还是有点不明白，那么我们英国公司到底要不要去中国做生意呢？如果不去，我爸爸妈妈失业了，我们家里没钱了怎么办？” 老师：“这个，这篇文章是让大家思考，小朋友们要学会思考啊。我们西方媒体的文章从来不把结论强加给读者，这里没有说不让你的爸爸妈妈的公司去中国啊。” Joe：“那，将来中国人学会了我们的技术，将来中国小朋友的爸爸妈妈抢我们爸爸妈妈活儿干怎么办？我听说，他们爸爸妈妈工资要比我们爸爸妈妈工资少很多。” 老师：“所以，老师说了，这篇文章要让大家思考，有人能回答Joe的问题吗？” Stephen：“那我们的爸爸妈妈也少要点工资好了。” Ethan：“笨蛋，那我们不是和他们一样穷了。” Katrina:“那我们的爸爸妈妈工作努力点好了” Bill:“那将来我们长大了岂不是也要工作的很累，不好。我爸爸说工会会保护我们不用工作地很累的。” 老师：“William，你还能回答这个问题吗？” William：“老师，我也想不明白该怎么办了。” 老师：“同学们啊，答案就在你们眼前啊！将来，等你们长大了，也当记者，写稿子，发表到杂志上，这样不就有工作的机会了吗，大家想一想，Chengfeng同学，即使再努力，再认真，还有Alex同学和bjork同学，他们的思想境界能赶上你们吗？我们公正公开的媒体会雇他们写稿子吗？这样你们不就有了一份不受这些外来人竞争的工作了吗？看看，大家都笑了吧，你们的水平还是不如老师吧。所以大家一定要认真学习语文，学习好了语文，你们可以到经济学人，卫报，泰晤士报上去发表文章，要知道我们有许许多多的自由媒体，连很多生活在水深火热之中的中国的精英分子们都喜欢我们的媒体呢。来同学们，最后，让我们来一起大声说好吗？我们的目标是－？” 所有同学：“学好语文！” 老师：“下课！” 挪威的森林《Norwegian Wood》收录在披头士的专辑《Rubber Soul》之中。作词和作曲都由约翰列侬包办。值得一题的是歌曲的伴奏中出现了Sitar琴，乔治哈里森的Sitar琴为歌曲增添了几分神秘，幽远的感觉。在那冰天雪地，白皑皑的挪威森林中漫天挥洒着淡淡的哀愁。村上春树笔下的直子她听到这支曲子就会觉得自己孤零零地迷失在森林深处。恐怕也是因为直子的这句话，渡边回忆起曾与她在死一般寂静的松林里慢慢散步，答应她永远都不会把她忘掉。 I once had a girl, or should I say, she once had me. She showed me her room, isn’t it good, Norwegian wood? She asked me to stay and she told me to sit anywhere, So I looked around and I noticed there wasn’t a chair. I sat on a rug, biding my time, drinking her wine. We talked until two and then she said, "It’s time for bed". She told me she worked in the morning and started to laugh. I told her I didn’t and crawled off to sleep in the bath. And when I awoke I was alone, this bird had flown. So I lit a fire, isn’t it good, Norwegian wood? 以下小资慎入： 村上春树先生在他的小资圣经《挪威的森林》中把这首歌描绘得过于唯美了，如果说出这首歌的真实意境可能会戳破很多人的对于挪威森林宛如梦境，遥不可及的幻想。 首先，这首歌翻译成《挪威的森林》就有些不妥，如果歌名是《Norwegain Woods》，Woods翻译成森林，树木是恰当的，可是这首歌的歌名叫做《Norwegain Wood》。Wood在这里是木材的意思。《挪威的木材》是个什么东西呢？ 保罗后来解释得清楚：所谓Norwegain Wood，其实就是便宜的松木（Cheap Pine Wood）。当时英国人喜欢用木材来装修房屋，既给房屋加上木制的贴面，吊顶，电视墙等装饰，可是如果说用的木材是便宜的松木，显得太掉价了，于是无良的商人就把这种木材称为”Norwegain Wood”(挪威的木材)。其实这和漫天白雪，令人迷失的挪威森林没有多大关系。 还有列侬的这首歌，在悠扬的音乐后面，其实歌词并不是很唯美，甚至有些卑鄙。歌词的大意是： 列侬钓上了一个女孩，或者被女孩钓上了；到了女孩的家里，女孩带列侬参观她的房间，是用“挪威木材”装修的。列侬和女孩坐在地上，喝红酒，聊到了下半夜两点。列侬以为然后两人可以春宵一度，可是女孩说她明天还要上班，列侬只好睡在浴室里。第二天早晨列侬醒来，发现那个女孩已经走了。为了报复，列侬在女孩家放了一把火，去你的吧“挪威木材”！ 对不起，村上春树先生。 Ten years of BlackBerryThe year is 1999. Bill Clinton is the President of the United States, gas is 94 cents a gallon, Bondi Blue iMacs are a staple in dorm rooms across the country, and Microsoft is trying to bring the desktop Windows experience to the pocket, pushing its Palm-size PC concept (after Palm had quashed the original "Palm PC" branding) on a world still feeling jilted by the failures of the Apple Newton. 3Com subsidiary Palm and its heavyweight licensee Handspring have figured out something interesting about the still-nascent PDA market, though: people like simplicity. If an electronic organizer does what it says it's going to do, keeps your information in sync with your PC, runs for forever and a day on a single set of batteries, and does it all with a minimum of fuss, people will buy. It's an exciting, challenging, and rapidly-changing era in the mobile business. It's the network, stupid This is the landscape Canadian start-up Research In Motion faced at the tail end of the millennium. It seemed clear that "staying connected on the road" was the Next Big Thing -- email had finally started to become a standard in corporate communication, after all -- but the roadblocks were many and formidable. "Always on" cellular technologies like GPRS and 1xRTT weren't yet readily available, and circuit-switched data running over pervasive D-AMPS and CDMA networks was painfully slow and expensive -- not to mention a death wish for battery life. Manufacturers and service providers took a two-pronged approach to overcoming the limitations: one, keep data consumption modest; and two, bypass the traditional cellphone networks altogether. Two-way paging networks like ReFLEX didn't have the bandwidth to handle the data demands of a late 1990s-era PDA with a big display, but DataTAC and Mobitex networks -- running at a blistering 19.2Kbps and 8Kbps, respectively -- were already widely deployed across North America. Neither technology had been conceived with consumer use in mind, but they were robust, proven, and most importantly, available.  Palm takes a leap of faith -- and falls flatRiding a wave of commercial successes, Palm saw the writing on the wall and plunged head-first into the connected market with its Palm VII, which used a Mobitex-based service called Palm.net to offer bite-sized chunks of relevant data -- news headlines, weather, email, flight times, and the like -- on a device that resembled an overgrown Palm III with a flip-up antenna. The product was troubled from the start. Though Palm.net's heart-stoppingly expensive monthly pricing wasn't necessarily an issue for the business-minded target audience, the device relied on proprietary "web clippings" from content providers to reduce data consumption; if your favorite newspaper didn't work with Palm to develop a web clipping app, you were stuck using the shoddy WAP browser. What's more, despite its whopping $599 sticker price, it failed to borrow from the high-end Palm V's legendary industrial design. Palm hobbled along with two more Palm.net-compatible models, the VIIx and i705, before the GSM-based Tungsten W along with Treos obtained through its acquisition of Handspring overshadowed the dedicated network and doomed it to closure in 2004.  The BlackBerrys aren't ripe yet in WaterlooPalm, of course, didn't need the Palm VII to succeed. The company would go on to see plenty of success from its traditional PDA business and -- eventually, anyway -- the Treo smartphones it was able to add to the line through its acquisition of Handspring. Meanwhile, the always-on, always-connected market was still waiting to be won, and RIM was perfectly positioned to take the prize. It had been making Mobitex radio modules for industrial systems for many years, and in 1995 had introduced its Inter@ctive Pager 900 -- a fairly revolutionary product that promised two-way email communication from a device small enough to fit on a belt holster. The technology was there -- RIM merely had to wait for email to become business-critical while working on making its hardware smaller, sexier, and ultimately, indispensable to anyone who picked it up. In 1998, the Inter@ctive Pager 900 -- a bulky brick with a flip-top display -- was succeeded by the smaller Inter@ctive Pager 950. As its name implied, RIM considered the 900 and 950 pagers first, emailing devices second; paging was still a force to be reckoned with in the mid-90s (SMS was yet to become relevant in North America) and the company needed to identify with the paging crowd in order to find an audience. Indeed, RIM's own press release for the 950 proudly declared the device a "revolutionary two-way pager that allows users to both send and receive full-length, error-free, alphanumeric messages with guaranteed delivery." The 950 retailed for $360 with plans starting at $25 a month through BellSouth, one of several companies that would ultimately become Cingular (and eventually AT&T Mobility, though Cingular's Mobitex network -- Cingular Interactive -- would be sold off prior to the name change). That pricing put the device well within the reach of any company who needed its employees a page (or an email) away. RIM estimated that some 80 percent of pages required a response -- and at a time when one-way pagers still dominated the belts of field techs, executives, and doctors, the 950 was priced right to steal some of that market. Even better, the 950 was barely larger than those one-way devices it sought to displace.  A legendary brand emergesIn early 1999, RIM was in fat city. It was coming off a record quarter of earnings thanks to brisk sales of its handhelds and new contracts for its wireless modems, but it wasn't standing still. On January 19 of that year, the company made a bold declaration: email's the future. The Inter@ctive Pager devices were excellent two-way pagers, yes, but that wasn't where the market was going -- and RIM knew that it already had a powerful framework for mobile email in play. It introduced a tight little solution called "BlackBerry," which essentially bundled a version of its Inter@ctive Pager 950 with a PC dock, a new service for synchronizing to Microsoft Exchange accounts, and optionally, a product called BlackBerry Enterprise Server geared at corporations looking to manage fleets of these devices. Unlike the Palm VII, BlackBerry didn't try to be fancy -- no "web clippings," no huge touchscreen, no handwriting recognition, and no massive flip-up antenna. Instead, RIM's device was almost singly focused on delivering a killer email experience with a scroll wheel, relatively comfortable QWERTY keyboard, and true push service (something many other platforms are still trying to get right ten years later, interestingly). For suits who'd been sucked into the Exchange ecosystem for corporate email, BlackBerry was a brave new world -- a chance to untether -- and they came calling in droves. And that was just the first couple months of the year. Later in 1999, RIM would release the Inter@ctive Pager 850, which expanded BlackBerry's North American footprint by bringing the technology to DataTAC networks in the US and Canada (battery life dropped from the 950's claimed three weeks to just one week, but the 850's support for rechargeable NiMH packs made it a bit more palatable). Shortly thereafter, the company announced that it would adopt Sun's Java 2 Micro Edition platform for third-party development in its devices, and -- for better or worse -- BlackBerry developers write in Java to this day. A form factor more familiar By 2000, BlackBerry had cemented itself as a power brand -- a corporate status symbol. Paging was on the way out, and RIM had somehow expertly ridden the wave right into mobile email as though that had been its plan all along. Thing is, the display on the 850 and 950 models -- a carry-over from the Inter@ctive Pager days -- wasn't particularly well-suited for reading emails, which tended to be longer and richer than old-school pages. The solution? A much, much larger display.  RIM introduced the BlackBerry 957 in concert with BlackBerry OS 2.0 in April of 2000. It would prove to be a landmark device for RIM, though it may not have seemed that way at the time. At its release, it was little more than an overgrown 950, but unlike its little brother, the 957's basic form factor would ultimately stand the test of time -- and if you let your eyes go out of focus just a bit, you can actually see the beginnings of the ubiquitous user interface found on every BlackBerry sold today. At this point, carriers and content partners were really starting to get it: to borrow a phrase from a 2000 press release detailing a new partnership with Nortel, RIM was becoming a champion of the "always on, always connected" internet, and everyone wanted in on the mojo (Nortel had just invested $25 million in RIM; ironically, RIM would try to buy a large chunk of Nortel's bankrupt remains just nine years later). Rogers (then Rogers AT&T), Bell Mobility, and BT were among the heavyweight networks to welcome BlackBerry to their lineups. AOL created a version of AOL Instant Messenger for the platform, and RIM started bundling its first web browser with the 950 and 957, though using it ran a stiff $9.95 a month -- for 25KB. Yes, twenty-five whopping kilobytes! Fortunately, unlimited service was available for another $10, although it's amusing to think that wireless data devices were ever rudimentary enough, mobile content services simple enough, and networks slow enough to justify a service that allotted just a few thousand bytes every month. Conquering the organizer Today, cloud computing is a fact of life; if you use Gmail, Facebook, Flickr, or any of their contemporaries, much of what makes you who you are is stored in some nebulously-defined network of servers you'll never see -- computers that look like overgrown refrigerators, sound like jet engines, and live in cold, windowless facilities close to power plants and jaw-droppingly fast internet connections. In 2001, the cloud as we know it today was just an idea on a whiteboard (and no one was calling it "the cloud") but BlackBerry customers were starting to taste bits and pieces of the experience. RIM used CTIA Wireless in Vegas that year as the venue to introduce the next iteration of its connected experience: wireless calendar synchronization. Up until this point, the BlackBerry platform had been about email first, everything else second (and really, you could argue that's still the code RIM lives by today), but the company was starting to acknowledge that a businessperson's mobile office was about more than messaging -- and it's not always convenient to pop open the laptop to check the day's schedule. Besides, while RIM was making wireless data a mainstream concept in the pocket, laptop data cards were still exceedingly rare. Of course, your average Joe off the street still couldn't walk into their carrier's shop, buy a BlackBerry, and get their personal Outlook calendar delivered over the aether -- but for corporate customers with Exchange and BES installations, things were really getting interesting. Pushing "push" BlackBerry didn't just commoditize mobile email or connected organization -- it helped pioneer the very concept of "push." Push continues to be an elusive, contentious technology for users of many systems, devices, and mobile platforms to this day -- the idea that you get new content pushed to you as it happens, rather than waiting until you request it -- but RIM was well ahead of the game here, touting its push technology by name as early as 2001. If someone shot you an email, you had it immediately. Meeting requests zipped down to you the second they were made. Of course, push would ultimately go on to become one of BlackBerry's hallmarks and one of the major reasons users continue to cite for steadfastly refusing to try other platforms, no matter how outdated RIM's well-worn interface may now seem by modern standards -- it's a really powerful selling point.  2001 marked a number of important new partnerships for RIM, too, including VoiceStream (which would ultimately become T-Mobile USA) and Italy's TIM. Maybe more interesting, though, was an announcement the company made at the very tail end of the year: it'd be developing a device compatible with Motorola's iDEN network technology in partnership with Nextel. iDEN's claim to fame, of course, was (and still is) its push-to-talk interface -- so did this mean that a hybrid BlackBerry cellphone was in the works? Smartphones were still a novelty at the time and heavyweights like Microsoft hadn't yet come to play ball, but the synergy was pretty obvious: road warriors do their email and take conference calls from the back of the cab on the way to LAX, after all.Feeling litigious For RIM, the decade has been filled with seemingly countless bouts of Law & Order-worthy courtroom drama, a theme that can trace its origins to November of 2001 when IP holding firm NTP -- whose mere mention causes knee-jerk grumbles of "patent troll!" in some circles -- filed its first lawsuit against the company. The suit focused on technologies surrounding the wireless transmission of email, which... well, kind of sums up RIM's entire business model, so the spat naturally garnered its fair share of attention. After some four and a half years of legal action, tentative settlements, and breakdowns, RIM and NTP finally came to terms to the tune of $612.5 million -- considerably less than the $1 billion NTP had originally wanted, but still a breathtaking sum for a company that had done little more than sit on some purely theoretical technology.  Of course, RIM was sitting on an enviable IP portfolio of its own by this point, and that portfolio was starting to pay dividends right around the time of NTP's original filing. 2002 saw a licensing agreement take hold with Palm (without which the Treo line's famously good keyboards would've had a hard time existing) and a series of claims filed against upstart rival Good Technology -- which at the time was working on a suspiciously BlackBerry-esque device called the G100 to accompany its server-side suite that duplicated much of RIM's functionality. Good would ultimately go on to abandon the G100 to focus strictly on software and services and undergo a couple takeovers -- most recently by well-known patent plaintiff Visto -- so the rough-and-tumble hardware biz clearly hadn't treated them with as much kindness as it had RIM.Finally, two devices become one 2002 would prove to be a watershed year for the smartphone. Nokia's Communicator line had been around since the 1990s, but its models were niche devices -- bulky beasts that didn't function very well as phones, PDAs, or computers -- and they clearly weren't the catalyst the industry (and consumers) needed to take the concept mainstream. Following news late in 2001 that there'd be a BlackBerry coming to Nextel's iDEN network, a flurry of press releases hit in the first part of '02 touting that new handhelds with "data and voice services" would be made available on carriers around the world; AT&T in the States and Rogers AT&T in Canada both followed Nextel's lead in committing to offering them. Nextel's announcement was especially positive, dropping the bombshell that the companies had signed a "multi-year" agreement to supply iDEN-powered BlackBerrys to the network. Of course, that agreement must've worked out pretty well for everyone involved, seeing how the relationship continues to the present day.  That's because it was nothing more than a 957 with a headset jacked into it. Just as wireless calendar synchronization had taken a back seat to email, RIM was now treating another critically important function -- voice -- as an afterthought. The all-important messaging experience was as good on the 5810 as it was on any BlackBerry before it, but everything about the glued-on phone functionality screamed "usability nightmare," from the non-numeric pad digit layout to the handsfree permanently wired into place (well, not permanently, but it may as well have been as long as you wanted to use the device as a phone). Bluetooth and integrated speakerphones were yet to become must-have features in 2002, and you certainly weren't going to find them here.  The engineers up at RIM headquarters weren't taking a breather, though -- far from it. The early part of the decade was a pretty magical time for wireless, for mobile, and for gadgetry in general; a primordial soup of paradigm-shifting technologies were all rapidly coming to fruition at the same time -- everything from cheap, high-quality color LCDs to lithium-ion polymer batteries and broadly-available data networks -- and phones from all companies were being developed, announced, and released more rapidly than they ever had been before. Gone were the days of owning a DynaTAC for eight years or a StarTAC for four -- useful innovation was simply coming to market too quickly for consumers (or manufacturers) to get comfortable for more than a year or two at a stretch.Make no mistake, it was a fun (if not terribly expensive) time to be paying attention to the market. Just six months -- yes, merely half a year -- after launching its first voice-capable BlackBerry, RIM gave the people what they really wanted: the 6800 series, introduced at CTIA in October of 2002. Unlike the awkward 5810, the 6810 and 6820 brought a proper earpiece to the equation, finally consummating the marriage of cellphone and connected organizer in a proper, usable way. Though some of BlackBerry's most important developments were yet to come, you could argue that this was RIM's turning point -- the single, common ancestor to which every modern BlackBerry can trace its lineage. Two (or three, or four) can play this game At this point, the industry's starting to show some early glimmers of awareness: it turns out that people like having their phone, their email, and their calendar in a single, pocketable device. Go figure! Of course, RIM wasn't the only company having this revelation in 2002; Palm founder Jeff Hawkins' pet project, Handspring, was just coming to market around the same time with the first members of its sexy, fully-integrated Treo line.  Even though RIM had just launched the 6810 and 6820, they were already looking outdated sitting on a table next to Handspring's (and later palmOne's) offerings. It didn't really matter, though; Waterloo's secret sauce lay as much in its robust server-side capabilities as it did in the hardware itself. What early BlackBerrys lacked in finesse, they made up for in manageability -- music to any IT staff's ears. Palm and Handspring, on the other hand, had both done a better job over the years of straddling the fence between office and home -- their devices had already been sold in big-box stores since the 90s, and the Treo seemed like a natural extension of that. Palm, of course, lacked a well-known, enterprise-friendly push email solution; for some, that was a deal breaker, but for others, the Treo's sex appeal made it the obvious choice. Indeed, RIM was still years away from hitting its stride with consumers; just like its predecessors, carriers were positioning the 6800 series toward businesspeople alone, but the strategy certainly seemed to be paying dividends. Before 2002 closed out, they'd go on to announce the 6510 for Nextel and the 6850 for Verizon -- the company's first CDMA device. The world had started the year with a selection of zero BlackBerry phones and ended it with five. The revolution had begun, and as it turned out, there was plenty of room in the market for RIM and Palm to both stake their claims -- the concept was still young, competition was yet to become fierce, and the target demographic was hungry for innovation. Both companies would go on to hold significant pieces of the pie among business users (particularly in North America) in the latter half of the decade. Acknowledging the elephant in the room It wasn't just Handspring (and later palmOne) with skin in the game, either. Though it had a muted presence in North America, Nokia was jumping out to a commanding lead globally on the strength of its Symbian-based Series 60 platform, a lighter-weight derivative of the Series 80 core used on the Communicator series. By the end of 2003, some estimates had its smartphone market share near a staggering 90 percent worldwide. That's a stat you can't ignore, and RIM was eminently aware that it needed to capitalize on its "CrackBerry" reputation -- its strength as an enterprise software and services player -- and keep its hardware ego in check. Sure, it now had several phones in the market, but so did everyone else -- so why try to beat 'em if you can just join 'em and still make money?  To that end, early '03 saw the introduction of BlackBerry Connect on Symbian, bringing BlackBerry's then-legendary corporate email capabilities to a seemingly limitless firehose of Nokia devices (along with a couple Sony Ericssons) and potentially upping RIM's profile in the all-important European theater. It also hit Windows Mobile and Palm OS the same year, cementing BlackBerry's status as a platform, not just a line of devices. The Connect solution would ultimately never gain the same level of popularity as the company's handsets would for hooking up to BlackBerry servers, but from RIM's perspective, that's probably just as well -- they saw it as a win-win opportunity, and Nokia, Microsoft, and Palm very likely did as well.Consumers are people, too Even in these early years, RIM had already reinvented itself a couple times; gone were the days of "BlackBerry" meaning a small, ugly, all-black pager with all the ergonomics of a VAX that you could only get (and probably were forced to take) through your employer. Thanks likely to the introduction of its range of smartphones in the prior few months, 2003 would be the year that the company started to finally dip its toe in what it called the "prosumer" market -- customers that weren't necessarily being offered a BlackBerry as part of an IT-managed fleet at their company, but still really needed (and were willing to pay for) always-on push email. Cingular, T-Mobile, and others started to introduce POP and IMAP email access on their BlackBerry devices early that year, marking the first time they were viable options for one-off buyers. Paying $30 a month for a mere 3MB of data service on top of a voice plan -- as Cingular was doing at the time -- was still a foreign concept to 99 percent of the non-enterprise market, but it marked one of the first early steps in acclimating end users to the idea. Today, even for a high-feature dumbphone, $70 is a reasonable charge for monthly service and $120 or more isn't unheard of -- it's a trade-off we've collectively made to be connected all of the time, and RIM helped blaze that wallet-emptying trail. Small and colorful RIM continued to press as hard on the hardware front in 2003 as it had in 2002, proving it wouldn't let its hardware go quietly into the night and transform into a software firm the same way Good would. The new 6200 series took baby steps toward the classic BlackBerry look we all know today by lightening and shrinking the package, squishing the 6800's display down to a more typical landscape aspect ratio, and making it more functional than ever by stuffing in more RAM and introducing integrated attachment viewing.  Just a few months later, the company would introduce the 7200 series, its very first color models -- but they wouldn't look very familiar to a modern-day Bold owner. Instead, the 7200 was nearly a dead ringer for its lower-end 6200 cousin, swapping out the low-resolution monochrome display for a 65,000-color one that clocked in at just 240 x 160 pixels -- brutal by modern standards. The crappy resolution on the new model could be chalked up in part to the fact that the screen was transflective, a sunlight-viewable tech that has been all but abandoned in modern smartphones because they simply don't pony up sufficient eye candy -- these days, you need HVGA or WVGA resolution and killer contrast ratios to earn respect and market share.The 7250 would also be RIM's first EV-DO-capable handset, but taken as a whole, the series seemed built less to knock socks off and more simply to appease the market's calls for a color BlackBerry. In a way, it would mark the beginning of an age of R&D conservatism in Waterloo that plagues the company to this very day. One million strong (and growing) The year is 2004. Palm OS would arguably reach its zenith with the introduction of the Treo 650, a model that refined the well-received 600 in all the right ways (and brought about the slightly-curved QWERTY arrangement that most -- but not all -- future Palms would go on to use). RIM signed up its millionth subscriber early in the year, a sign of great things to come over the next twelve months; the company would be announcing new carrier deals in every corner of the world virtually every week, and the tall-display form factor introduced way back on the data-only 957 would have one last hurrah on the 7700 series. 2004 would also see the first speakerphone-enabled BlackBerry, Nextel's 7510 for iDEN. As with the 7200, RIM going all-in with groundbreaking design or functionality -- both of the new models looked virtually identical to the 6200 of old, not a good thing considering that the 6200 had already looked pretty outdated by the time it was released.  Reinventing the bread and butter  BlackBerry was more popular than ever. In a year and a half, the service exploded from 1 million to over 4 million subscribers, but the time had come: RIM could no longer stretch the industrial design of the 6800 any further than it already had, and in late 2005 it finally took the bold (but totally necessary) step of redesigning its time-tested flagship from the ground up. Waterloo rode the resulting lineup -- the 8700 series -- to new heights, deploying on dozens of carriers around the world with a theme that mimicked the 7100 that had been unveiled a year prior. There were notable firsts: in North America, it became both the company's first EDGE-compliant handset and its first with a QVGA display. It was also the first QWERTY BlackBerry with a proper Send / End key arrangement; needless to say, the modern BlackBerry we know today cemented its ancestry right here.Though it supported EV-DO early on, RIM was much slower in taking up UMTS than most of its rivals, putting it at a distinct spec sheet disadvantage on Cingular in the US and virtually every carrier in Europe (even the 8900 and brand-new 8500 lines stop at EDGE, practically unheard of for a smartphone from a major manufacturer these days). Mercifully, some Europeans got a taste with certain variants of the 8700 that supported UMTS 2100 -- but Americans would still have years to wait. A BlackBerry in every pocket By 2006, every carrier that offered BlackBerry was more than happy to sell a 7100 or 8700 to Joe Six-Pack, regardless of corporate affiliation. RIM and its partners had done a decent job of making it clear to would-be buyers that you didn't need to wear a suit, own an Exchange account, or get permission from your IT overlords to purchase, use, and enjoy a BlackBerry of your own. Problem was, RIM had never designed and built a no-compromises consumer device. The 7100 came within earshot, but by 2006, times had changed -- you couldn't put a phone (smart or otherwise) on the shelf without a camera and a handsome design and expect it to sell itself.  As we know today, the Pearl would become a defining phone for RIM -- its own RAZR, in a way, but without the brutal downside than Motorola would go on to experience. Versions of the handset were sold on virtually every carrier in North America and in many locales around the world; some of those are still sold today, including a clamshell version in the 8200 series. The design was so popular, in fact, that RIM took a mid-cycle opportunity to swap out the guts of the original GSM-flavored 8100 to add in a 2 megapixel camera, WiFi, and GPS. In an industry as brutal and fickle as consumer wireless, it takes nothing less than a miracle to create a device with three solid years of market longevity. Meet the grandkids  As in the early days of the 6800, 6200, and 7200, the company's once again taking criticism for driving a theme into the ground -- one look at the family tree starkly demonstrates how little has changed in nearly three years. The counterargument, of course, is that they've settled on a winning formula, refining it year after year without messing with the recipe that made billionaires of co-CEOs Lazaridis and Balsillie. What side of the fence you fall on is very much a matter of personal opinion, but on some level, it says something about one's personality: it's a choice between productivity and multimedia, vanilla and chocolate, Ford and Chevy. A BlackBerry can be your music player just as an iPhone can connect to your Exchange account -- it's ultimately a question of priorities, and for some, allegiances. A gamble on reinvention Push email in a mobile device isn't the same kind of massive, paradigm-changing differentiator that it was ten years ago, and RIM can't lean on it nearly as heavily as it used to for sales -- even in its traditional corporate strongholds. It needs powerful, sexy products that can compete head-to-head with any smartphone the industry has to offer. To an extent, it has those with modern QWERTY sets like theCurve 8900 and Bold 9700, but here's the rub: the consumer market has made a sharp turn toward touch in the two-plus years since the iPhone has been available. It's a segment that's not just difficult for competitors to ignore -- it's impossible. Android, S60 5th Edition, and an endless onslaught of mid- to high-end featurephones validate it and make it harder to stay relevant without it. So how does a company with a host of patents regarding QWERTY thumb boards -- a company that has built its reputation on the quality of its physical input methods -- capitalize on something so foreign to its core competency?  The good news is that RIM doesn't roll the dice very often, but when it does, it plays for keeps; the 7100 and the Pearl were both early evidence of that, and we're now seeing that brazen attitude again with theStorm line. The company's early forays into touch are taking Waterloo well outside its comfort zone and the first models to market were almost universally panned as usability failures, but it's not all gloom and doom -- like SureType, the Storm's SurePress technology is unique in the industry, and a little more refinement could probably still make it the virtual keyboard powerhouse RIM wants it to be. In 2005, RIM had 4 million subscribers to its name; in 2009, it adds over 4 million subscribers in a single quarter. BlackBerry isn't going anywhere, clearly, but for a company in RIM's position, relevance is a daily battle that requires a delicate mix of innovation and respect for tradition. And on that note, RIM, bring on the next ten years -- you may have calloused and cramped our thumbs, but you haven't managed to destroy them just yet. 国境以南和太阳以西今天上网突然又看到这个故事，村上借着岛本所述说的关于“西伯利亚歇斯底里症候群”的故事 有個西伯利亞農人，每天日出而作日落而息。在那片荒野上，放眼所及的只有地平線，還是地平線。太陽升起他便工作，太陽落下他便回家，到了冬天沒有太陽，他便有漫長的休息時間，規律而秩序的人生。可是有一天，他仍然隨著太陽升起，到田裡工作，做著做著，他心裡的某種東西，死了，忽然死了，斷了，他扔下鋤頭，不再種田，便朝著太陽之西的地方走，不吃不喝好幾天，最後就死在路上，這就是「西伯利亞歇斯底里」。 国境以南究竟有什么？太阳以西又会有什么？谁也不知道。可如果不去探究，会更觉得眼下这一板一眼，过得枯燥乏味，无法忍受。哪怕突然中断日复一日的健全生活，毁灭一切，也要去探究那个‘什么’。 放弃大家觉得不错的工作，突然回国，然后放弃安定生活，突然来到澳洲。为了什么？下面呢？下一站又会是哪？ 天蝎，命中注定是要自我毁灭的么？ |
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